6:05 AM

getting some steam...

i'm 10 days post-op & still wincing in pain at my incision site. i had a mini-railroad track of about 20 staples running up my right glut that the farthest thing from comfortable. i got them out later today & the relief was amazing. nothing exciting happened during the surgery, & only after did i need a quickie blood transfusion & i was allowed to go home later the next day. i spent about 5 days at my mom's house, finding their spare bedroom & living room furniture to some of the most uncomfortable things in the world.

i slept each night in pieces in each room, with Sake dutifully following me & making a new place to sleep wherever i went. disappointingly, Kerstin came out for one day then decided she needed to see her husband & went back home. i curled up on the couch & napped for one of my many fitful sleep sessions on Percocet.

my Mommy took care of me the way only a true Mommy can, & i am so grateful for it. she came in the night when i cried, frustrated from pain & fighting with the sheets. she made me whatever food i asked for, & left a bottle of cold water anywhere i went. i went home a week after, & she hugged me tight after she packed up all my stuff that i had managed to strewn about her house. :)




i'm walking pretty well, mostly when i'm well medicated of course, but honestly it feels great to be pretty close to normal (ok with a thick, throbbing scar that looks like it was applied for a slasher flick). i walk nattily with a cane & even sleep comfortably. unfortunately the Joint Center conveniently forgot to schedule my physical therapy appointment, & now everywhere is booked til January!

now here at home, i eyeball the dark moulding & scarred hardwood flooring with much affection. hobbling in pain & gripping the sides of the bathtub to get in the shower makes me think of the conversation Dad & i had after my surgery consult.
i had mentioned Irene & Nicole moving in together, & my suddenly lit up. "i would feel so good about you moving in there. can you get in there somehow? i can't say how good it would make me feel to not have you live alone."
my Dad's usually quite stern when trying to get his point across, but i could see this plea came from his heart. this made me look at my apartment & life (again) anew, & i realized i won't have my high paying job anymore, & Dad would be helping me with rent & more. the least i could do is give up my place & live somewhere cheaper.




i've mulled it over for a few days, & got an email from my friend Joshe that made it all gel. he's looking for a roommate as well, same time frame as me, & really, he strikes me as a great fit. as much as i love the idea of a fun place like being with Irene & Nicole, i know that living with Joshe might be better & more low-key. i talked to him last night & got even more excited. although it means leaving Berkeley, i will still be here for school & can always come back later.



so here i am, looking at places in Walnut Creek & San Ramon like i was almost 2 years ago! surprisingly a few places already said "fine" about 2 dogs, one of them being kinda big! just gotta talk to Joshe again soon. is it wrong i'm dreaming of carpet already? oof, Sake better get his potty training back on track.....


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